It is known that all human beings are unique in their existence. Hence there can be said that regardless of sex, race, creed, values, financial status, color, education among others people are different while individuals.
Although are such differences that influence in a direct and indirect manner their relationships. I mean that when two people meet up, such discrepancies may contribute or not to getting a relation established, yet influencing in the kind of such relation.
Therefore it is only a matter of time for the duos to get into a routine stuck in a rut, boring, more often than not hard to realize or else parted. It ends up by affecting sex as well. Innumerous are the cases that contribute to a routine establishment. The most cited by the couples are work, studies, and kids; besides lack or romanticism thereafter the relation acquires stability.
Whether singles, heterosexuals or homosexuals the routine complaint has been always present, so much so that many end up conforming to it by judging that there isn't much to be done. Whenever this theme is approached in therapy I wonder what happened to each one's creativity, dropping the hint that creativity is pivotal if not major allied in overcoming routine and that includes sexual routine. Hard? No, it isn't, only takes willingness.
Books can turn out to be key allied. Literature about sexuality is so rich. Apart from information regarding sex, there are books that approach the subject in the most varied manners- understanding how sexuality works in man and woman, different modes of seduction, romances, it is likely to come in handy for the subject at hand.
Movies, whether in the pictures or homebound, on top of enabling us to dream, laugh, cry may aid towards sexuality- as in movies with sensual scenes, erotica and art-noir of sex flicks and snuffs, and also catching up with routine. one too many couples account that after watching certain scenes would employ them to revive their sexual fantasies.
Dinning out, dancing, traveling are demeanors that would aid detouring from routine. Romantic cards, petty luck-charms, a gesture of unexpected reassurance, on which point aid to keep routine -formation at bay. Preparing a candle-lit dinner in that aromatherapy, at home or in a hotel, are unexpected surprises that revive the very flame of romanticism, thus coming into play to spice up the sexual relation.
Men and women by and large enjoy dressing up hence seduce the other, both appreciate good looks, exquisite fragrances. Most men find sexy a beautiful piece of lingerie, others revel in leather gear. By contrast women prize caress exchange in foreplay, even if the other's body isn't in shape. Some also enjoy seeing their partners in fancy-dress for a session of strip tease, the same goes with men.
Dildos, whips, rabbits, cuffs, erotic massage, so far the arsenal is immense, and that's the reason why creativity is so important. As far as breaking the routine goes it is corner stones to care for the one next to you. Liking, needs and limitations should be respected under the fabric of all effort being in vain.
By Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist and Sexologist