Perhaps life could be perfect if positive that the sun would shine every day. As it so happens, there would be idyllic to have some reassurance in life, so that we could arrange such certainties and go dodging our fates. However, I believe that such lifestyle would become somewhat tasteless, since our doubts, incertitude and hung ups, do but, pep up our eagerness for new horizons and discoveries, so that, we reach out for knowledge, truth, apprentice, which in turn would make us better and to evolve over the daily tribulations of the surroundings.
Some uncertainties revolve us most of the time. So often heard, mostly from the youth “I’m unsure as to whether take my university entry test” or else “ I take am not in the right course”, “ I’m having a great time with this girl, but unsure if I want to keep her up”. Even doubts about our own sexuality as in” I’ve got a boyfriend, but feel attracted by a girlfriend of mine, or “ I love cross dressing, and so I’m confused...”, and then? These are some examples of the myriad of doubts striking the youth, and people in general, for when it comes to sexuality, doubts are always going to make presence in our lives”. In referring to the sexual orientation, we are speaking about something of utter importance in our lives, since it’s the sexual identity that is going to guide our love choices, our sexual partners, after all, our innermost fulfillment.
Roughly speaking, the buzz and talk of the town as sexual identity comes down to being born either male or female. Well, so far so good, lets come to terms with being born with the masculine gender or feminine gender. As from a biological perspective, it’s the human body anatomy that dictates which our sexual identity would be, i. e., if the baby has a penis is a boy, and if it has a vagina is a girl, though. only for the sake of information, there are those babies born hermaphrodites, as in born with the two sexual organs, due to a chromosome alteration.
Nevertheless, the sexual orientation isn’t limited only to such anatomical definition; it builds up and takes shape along our existence. Our society and its culture exert a role of enormous influence in the formation of the sexual orientation of the human kind, despite the roles of man and woman being attributed by this "moral power" that society imposes to all of us.
As far as we could see, the only predictable in the sexual identity is its biological factor that in accordance to our secondary sexual characteristics dictates our genres.
How the sexual orientation takes shape, and then?
Owing to the sexual characteristics that draw us humans sexually apart, our sexual orientation in turn would build and shape up throughout our lifetime, going through phases, and possibly uncertainties. It’s at a very early stage of our lives that our sexual orientation would take its first formation stance, and it occurs as result of our interaction with people related directly to our upbringing, such relation encompassed by family members, next of a kin, and later stage school staff.
Such melting pot of people and their attitudes as well as demeanors contribute directly to the formation of the sexual identity, on the accounts that the human species require nurturing by third parties in order to survive and develop in this world.
We can observe the making of our sexual orientation noticeably in a baby’s douche, at which parents or child care might end up offloading their own fantasies, even unintentionally. In fact, such fantasies being overburden of macho oriented reactions, for instance as in “ boys may touch themselves as for girls, it’s dirty or something doesn’t click about them, so on and so forth.
In approaching adolescence boys and girls tend to diverge, gathering in same gender groups, whereupon would search for identity, and so common ground and its likelihood. It’s said, part and parcel of the growing process.
After that, providing that teens know how to behave and relate in accordance to their own genres’ poses, teens would be likely to reach out and interact with the very same opposite group. At this stage, some doubts about the sexual orientation might still resilient, but as a rule of the thumb, boys and girls are already pretty clued up as to which way to follow.
This so-called question of orientation gets quite complex. It’s thought to require an array of influential factors in its formation. Such factors being from biological, and behavioral and sociological nature, and what’s more even fantasy as well as prejudices of our close-ones. All linkers up to the baby born with its sex barely defined. As to whether the baby will follow suit its genetic make over, calls for every topic brought about in this article.
Living life at its best along with our flaws and strong points, accepting our limitations as much as qualities to loving one another disregarding of previously conceived ideas is what sexual orientation is all about.
By Adriana Sommer da Costa
Psychologist and Sexologist