Historically the female sexuality has always been motive for taboos
and controversy. Up until recently talking about the subject meant
taboo-like. Parents pursuing a castrating education, would hardly
speak, better still, would never approach the subject with their daughters.
Such behavior gets explained by the innumerous variables within the
myriad of cultures and races.
Even after the sexual revolution the women, many women in my opinion,
still find it difficult to exercise thoroughly their sexuality.
If prior were lack of dialogue in family or lack of adequate information
about the subject that still exist, currently women have been “victims”
of their own fears, bias, besides low self-esteem. I believe that
nowadays the competitive world in all its aspects has reinforced a
competition between women themselves leading them to a process of
exterior change, making her forget changes and interior growth.
There could be translated by the sweaty bodies at fitness centers,
women of all ages who pack up clinics of plastic surgery, masks and
creams that promise retarding the ageing process, fight off cellulite,
much as the dictatorship of trend for the perfect body slender and
rectilineal, among others.
Thus, many women self-proclaimed independent and well sorted out,
ended up by letting themselves in for such neuroses, and somehow,
yet had their sexual lives affected. There are those who believe that
so long as attained the perfect figure means that there will be no
reason to be swapped by other younger or most beautiful, reflex
their own insecurity and low self-esteem.
These women demonstrate insecurity approaching their own sexuality.
Many minimize themselves by being unable to reach orgasm, others by
failing in reaching a satisfactorily sexual relation, as though the
perfect body would be the answer or solution to their sexual issues.
It is interesting to say that in therapy with couples are not males
who complain about their partners’ shape, all the way around the majority
remark appreciate the contours of their partners.
I am not against spas or plastic surgery, far from that I chiefly
believe that a woman can and should employ all resources available
in order to feel most beautiful and younger, so long as not becoming
hostage of her own appearance. In other words, the ideal is that the
external changes come alongside internal changes, thus I swear by,
that can be possible.
Clinical-ground experience has showed that sex does not depend on
such devices to the benefit of some woman fulfill herself sexually.
Therefore, a well-sorted woman is that who likes herself, knows what
she wants and what should be done to conquer her objectives and desires.
As for female sexuality, a woman sexually fulfilled, would be that
able to tell what she likes, sharing with her partner her doubts,
fantasies, desires, knowing how to guide her partner in search for
her own pleasure as well as the couple’s.
By Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist and Sexologist