As far as statistics show, men as much as 50% would experiment an extra-conjugal
relation (the old affair) at some point of their lives. In practical
terms this means that one out of two husbands already have or is likely
to have a sexual affair outside marriage.
Speaking in terms of occidental culture that swears by monogamy,
throughout history men have always received an indulgent and lenient
permission for the practice of adultery, as consequence of the male
orientated upbringing undergone, at which point remains to these days
maybe in a lesser degree.
In such a context out comes the question- why men cheat? Truly, there
are several answers in the biological, psychological and sociological
fields, in which case attempt to explain such behavior. Frankly speaking,
men are more predictable in their acts and tend to operate quite similarly
within behavioral patterns, as opposed to women.
Men in certain aspects display many common characteristics, which
is where lays a woman’s biggest weapon for hampering an eventual fence
jumping. Hence it only takes mastering one of the characteristics
and acting accordingly.
Basically, a man seeks an extra-conjugal affair by curiosity (prowl
instinct), for self-esteem (to prove himself still capable of conquest
and seduce) and for the old home sex he
would like to have, in that her significant participation.
However unlikely, someone who cheats doesn’t necessarily quit loving
or liking the other half even when it happens. Sometimes cheating
stems from an instinctive necessity for reaching new heights of emotions,
since the daily routine feels like stuck in a rut and dull bound.
At times a man isn’t looking for someone, but by sheer coincidence
happens to make eye contact and acquaint somebody interesting, which
triggers off an irreversible chemical reaction that in turn springs
all the sexual instinct almost irrationally, culminating in an act
of infidelity.
Many men in sampling on affairs outside marriage come to the realization
that the old home sex is as good as any, being still as good as a
worthwhile after all. This so because of repercussions, since the
wife is once more prized as woman-mistress, improving ten fold an
irksome and time worn out relationship.
As it happens, there isn’t a single man who enjoys getting home after
a hard day at work and having to put up with a moaning and whining
wife. It doesn’t seem the most appropriate time for this kind of discussion.
All the way round, it seems to me that the sight of a well groomed
and scented wife, who cares and demonstrates interest in the play
up of his daily routine, would go a long way in the couple’s outlook.
Even though feeling such an urge to discuss petty problems, do so
at a more appropriated time. Give him time to unwind. It might sound
patronizing, but so far highly productive in preventing thoughts of
betrayal. For all that who doesn’t enjoy pamper, reassurance and comprehension?
By Darci L. Duro Janarelli
Gynaecologist
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