Traditionally, men have displayed such an obsessive attitude in relation to sexual desire. They seem on a quest for the capability to satisfy it as well as their friends. It has created a myth with respects to sexual potency, which only rivalries with the existent surrounding the relation between the size of the genital organs and virility.
The overvaluation of sexual acrobatics overlooks the so-important distinction between quality and quantity. As most men concern, the amount of orgasms reached in only one night has the same significance as the amount of points scored in a rugby match. On the other hand, the role that tradition reserves for the woman is of the passive object, of which sometimes is not even expected to reach out for thorough satisfaction.
A funny convention establishes that the man capable of going overboard in sex being admired as a hero. As for the woman who yearns for long-lasting relations or repetitive gets branded as “insatiable” or “nymphomaniac”.
On a more serious note, the idea that the woman’s role in the sex act is not only of participation, but though equivalent participation as of the man, only recently began to be accepted. In fact, solely at the end of 1920’s the illiterate lot got into recognizing that the woman is able to induce orgasms much the same as the man.
From then on, the concept of the woman’s sexual role has been changing all the while ever so-rapidly, although not widely accept yet. Most women, of all walks of cultures, continuously conform themselves by leaving for the man all the initiatives in sexual intercourse.
Frequently, the woman judges that her “modesty” does not allow her to assume a more active position, or suggest techniques that would yield sex-related pleasure further. Nevertheless, a great many men would feel beside themselves if their partners had made the first move. After all, it would be a proof that she holds him in high regards. As long as the woman refuses to hold herself up more casually and actively, so sexual intercourse would be far out from reaching for the ultimate realization.
The so-called harmony in sexual relationship hinges as much on the balance of emotions as on the physical attraction.
This aspect, grass-roots in partnership life, gets exposed to uncountable misunderstandings stemming from situations in everyday life.
At times, the husband complains that the passionate bride turned into a cold wife. He doesn’t realize that she might be unsatisfied with homebound chores, or that perhaps concern towards toddlers has had shifted temporarily her sexual desire.
In turn, the husband, all worked up from work hectic, may not be such a fierce lover of conjugal life’s heyday any longer. Mutual accusations of lax in interest or infidelity will not help to solve the problem.
Surveys on the frequency-rate of sexual intercourse in marriage come to show that there’s a huge discrepancy between couples. There are no evidences that the degree of satisfaction depends on the number of times loving is made. What might satisfy one couple might not serve for another. There’s no such a normal rate regarding sexual frequency in marriage, nor any consensus that assures a happy relationship. The most important is to each one unveil what brings fruitful outcome in sexual rapport.
By Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist
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