Complaints of sexual nature are bread and butter at daily clinics. one of the most frequently asked question concerns sex pace or rhythm of sexual partners.
Both men and women share common ground-one sex partner displays higher sexual appetite than the other. Some going on about their sex partner’s willingness for sex action like swapping sexual positions almost uninterruptedly as changing socks throughout the day. Those just can’t get enough of a good thing, willing to have sex several times a day non-stop. For them, this situation denotes an abnormality or sexual flaw.
As a matter of fact, the ones doing the whining tend to think that sex partners might have an exaggerated libido. In my clinical practice such complaint sticks out mainly amongst women, which doesn’t necessarily mean that men don’t say the same.
In contrast, some others complain that their sex partners don’t share the same sexual desire or eagerness. This one being typical of the male public, again and again the same applies to women.
The matter of sexual frequency between sex partners is in general directly related to each one’s libido as well as their pre-established sexual routine. Libido gets translated by the human sexual desire featuring degrees of intensity in different individuals. As it so happens, when one individual shows signs of higher libido than the other, he/she winds up by promoting a certain discomfort namely sexual inadequacy.
Yet, there are external factors that may interfere in the sexual life, influencing directly on libido such as social-cultural factors, finances, offspring, family affairs, work matters, health concerns amongst others. It means that, disregarding gender, the way that individuals cope with conflicts resulting from those factors; ends up by interfering on their sexual appetite.
It’s important to learn whether each one’s libido had suffered alterations in a given period of time. For example, if sexual appetite was intense becoming from some point on somewhat different, decreasingly.
It seems to me that in such cases professional scrutiny becomes utterly important in order to either discard or diagnostic any incipient dysfunction so as to treat it accordingly.
Back to razzmatazz of sexual rhythm, sexual relation’s frequency gets established from the beginning by sexual partners. I consider perfectly acceptable that a certain sex relation starts quite intensively to diminish naturally as time goes by, whether by wearing out or getting stuck in a rut. Not forgetting that at middle age sex drive normally drops physiologically speaking.
Regardless of the reason for discrepancies in libido, open dialogue is essential to get on top of problems by coming to terms with sexual nuances.
Only time ensures catching up to smooth rough edges on a sexual relation.
Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli
Psychologist and Sexologist