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Home -> Sexuality For Couples -> Sex and Love -> Sex and Love III

Sex, Love and Relationships - Part III

For Couples

Sex gains momentum in this conundrum of sexuality proposed by our beloved sexual anthropologist. Get your sex kicks under the guise of heightened sexuality.

Love and Sex III: get clued up o­n Romeo e Juliet’s love and ponder about your way of lovemaking.

Even today, the westerners’ way of love manifests itself in a quest for the ideal, the perfect. The farther out of reach the more precious. In seeking out the unattainable, there’s a sentiment that implies in pain bearing, rather related with the religious manifestations. In describing their search for God, the mystics employ a language quite similar of lovers’. Who in turn, seemed as though living in a “state of glory”.

As conceived- it’s a never-ending search for the inaccessible ideal- , the love of romantics might lead to a manner of idealizing itself. As it so happens, someone in love loves o­neself through the image of a loved o­ne. In ecstasy, there can’t be seen as it really is, with all its weakness and vulgarities, but o­nly what he/she would like to find in o­neself. An eventual discovery of a worthless flaw is in itself enough reason for an irremediable delusion.

The definition for ways of idealizing and expressing love depends o­n concepts of masculinity and femininity followed suit by society. In various societies, the male aspiration boils down to the macho-bravado, aggressive, courageous. “A man doesn’t cry” is still something to swear by for the vast majority of men. Therein, tenderness turns taboo for him, and his feelings can’t be expressed with graciousness.

A woman, o­n the other hand, being fragile, dependent, awaits for care that her partner is unable to provide. Such patterns are passed along to children, who adopt them as the role model of love to be sought after.

Though, as grows up, someone remains attached to idealized images of infancy and fail to adjust those expectations of behavior-sometimes contradictory, there might have difficulty in love affairs: turns extremely dominant-bossy or dependent-wimpy.

Even in modern occidental societies, o­n which ideally the romantic love should take place naturally through marriage, the so-relation between two things isn’t as simple as usually admitted. In the first place, the romantic love is a characteristically experience, however not exclusively, of adolescence.

As for adolescents, the first love experience represents a rite of passage to a new social rank- as adult. This is so because the discovery of love is an adventure that tends to get out of control of the youngster’s family, representing his/hers assertion as being free and independent.

Perhaps the most popular example of such situation being the tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. The lovers of Verona live up to their passion at the margin of conflicts that divide their families and even up against restrictions by them imposed. This way, affirmed their autonomy with respects to adult control. At the same time, they define themselves as grown ups. Nevertheless, love between two youngsters is incompatible with the idea of marriage, at the time, likewise in Samoa-(refer to “Love and Sex I”), there would hinge o­n a transaction between the couple’s families.

The tragic ending of two lovers comes to show that society may sometimes propose incompatible ideals to its members. As prizing of romantic love isn’t always capable of harmonizing the marriage institution. Therein stems a string of never-ending disarray, of which Latin soap operas are real time instances.

Nonetheless, if you’re considering lovemaking, go a head. The most skeptics of mortals won’t dare to get involved in such flaring passion, even though aware of the likelihood of great sufferance of “pain bearing love”.

Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist

Sexuall.org
Editors






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