Sex gains momentum in this conundrum of sexuality proposed by our beloved
sexual anthropologist. Get your sex kicks under the guise of heightened
sexuality.
Love and Sex III: get clued up on Romeo e Juliet’s love and ponder
about your way of lovemaking.
Even today, the westerners’ way of love manifests itself in a quest
for the ideal, the perfect. The farther out of reach the more precious.
In seeking out the unattainable, there’s a sentiment that implies
in pain bearing, rather related with the religious manifestations.
In describing their search for God, the mystics employ a language
quite similar of lovers’. Who in turn, seemed as though living in
a “state of glory”.
As conceived- it’s a never-ending search for the inaccessible ideal-
, the love of romantics might lead to a manner of idealizing itself.
As it so happens, someone in love loves oneself through the image
of a loved one. In ecstasy, there can’t be seen as it really is,
with all its weakness and vulgarities, but only what he/she would
like to find in oneself. An eventual discovery of a worthless flaw
is in itself enough reason for an irremediable delusion.
The definition for ways of idealizing and expressing love depends
on concepts of masculinity and femininity followed suit by society.
In various societies, the male aspiration boils down to the macho-bravado,
aggressive, courageous. “A man doesn’t cry” is still something to
swear by for the vast majority of men. Therein, tenderness turns taboo
for him, and his feelings can’t be expressed with graciousness.
A woman, on the other hand, being fragile, dependent, awaits for
care that her partner is unable to provide. Such patterns are passed
along to children, who adopt them as the role model of love to be
sought after.
Though, as grows up, someone remains attached to idealized images
of infancy and fail to adjust those expectations of behavior-sometimes
contradictory, there might have difficulty in love affairs: turns
extremely dominant-bossy or dependent-wimpy.
Even in modern occidental societies, on which ideally the romantic
love should take place naturally through marriage, the so-relation
between two things isn’t as simple as usually admitted. In the first
place, the romantic love is a characteristically experience, however
not exclusively, of adolescence.
As for adolescents, the first love experience represents a rite of
passage to a new social rank- as adult. This is so because the discovery
of love is an adventure that tends to get out of control of the youngster’s
family, representing his/hers assertion as being free and independent.
Perhaps the most popular example of such situation being the tragedy
of Romeo and Juliet. The lovers of Verona live up to their passion
at the margin of conflicts that divide their families and even up
against restrictions by them imposed. This way, affirmed their autonomy
with respects to adult control. At the same time, they define themselves
as grown ups. Nevertheless, love between two youngsters is incompatible
with the idea of marriage, at the time, likewise in Samoa-(refer to
“Love and Sex I”), there would hinge on a transaction between the
couple’s families.
The tragic ending of two lovers comes to show that society may sometimes
propose incompatible ideals to its members. As prizing of romantic
love isn’t always capable of harmonizing the marriage institution.
Therein stems a string of never-ending disarray, of which Latin soap
operas are real time instances.
Nonetheless, if you’re considering lovemaking, go a head. The most
skeptics of mortals won’t dare to get involved in such flaring passion,
even though aware of the likelihood of great sufferance of “pain bearing
love”. Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist
Sexuall.org
Editors
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