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Home -> Sexuality For Couples -> Sex and Love -> Sex and Love II

Sex, Love and Relationships - Part II

For Couples

Another chapter o­n sex and sexuality. Get your kicks whether sexually or psychically. This time around, sex goes back to grass roots. Leaving no room for qualms o­n sexuality.

Love and Sex II: the romantic love and the love affairs of our time.

The kind of romantic love is a phenomenon relatively new in the history of human Sexuality. It appeared first in the medieval Europe, as a compound element of the concept of chivalry. The perfect medieval knight would adore a high-ranking dame if willing to risk his life for her own sake. This kind of love disconnected from the idea of marriage.

In practice, women were regarded as material goods, initially of parents and, shortly after, of the husbands'- being totally at mercy of their husbands' whims, by law inclusive. The families dealt marriages as they pleased.

A great many part f the muses of medieval knights were married. Often they couldn't get as far as talking intimately. Love was then demonstrated through poems and songs, whose themes would reveal an ideal of loving combined with the cult of the Virgin Marie. There was sought in women the very same immaculate perfection. It was sought in the relation the same exaltation of the spirits. Busily writing poems for his inspirational dame, the knight wouldn't expect reward from his loved o­ne nor any expression of affection in exchange for his loving demonstrations. His duty was to idolize, cry, suffer, even dieing from a spellbinding love.

On the other hand, nowadays there are those unable to love from preserving themselves from strong emotions. In order not to be reached out for, they emulate a sort of wall between them and the external world. Many times becoming narcissists, extremely lonesome or self-sufficient. In this case, bound to end up by falling in love later o­n, as turning mature- able to rely o­n own emotions. When in love, all feelings seem sharper. The lover sees and feels all the surroundings with higher intensity, the loved o­ne is as wonderful as unique, and the whole world is full of sights, noise, sensations and pleasant fragrances.

However, as the love of romantic kind is the nearest thing to idolatry, it's common place that the person envisages an over the top golden image of the loved o­ne. At first glance, it feels-like betrayal when finding out that his/hers idol has flaws. But, when the lover is able to see not o­nly the qualities, but also the imperfections of the other-acknowledging them and accepting equally his/her own, it means that he/she would likely to overcome that purely romantic phase, thus enabling love to turn into something more everlasting. That is, a relationship based o­n mutual understanding and a trade off of feelings and experiences.

Though, certain in love couples fear that their deep love would turn out to be mere affection after all. Holding almost feverishly o­n to romanticism, in an attempt to eternalize those magic moments of passion. Nonetheless, for someone at the beginning of a love affair, or falling in love for the first time, it's hard to believe that such fascinating experience be a sort of love and not "the magic and perennial formula of the great Love".

The o­ne who expects to keep forever the state of love's ecstasy wind up obliged to create a string of circumstances that, as time goes by and living together, will become artificial. Flaring passion turns into emotional tension, as physically and psychically unbearable. The couple begins to provoke frequent separations, consciously and unconsciously, so as to sample o­nce more o­n the strong emotions of reconciliation.

On a roller-costing quest for happiness, the lover gets mixed up along the way. o­ne isn't altogether sure as to be prepared to build up, ever so slowly, that kind of relationship in that all out reassurance to o­ne another, with qualities and flaws. Time after some time, through self- experiences, whether happy or else, some get to comprehend love entirely.

The ecstasy and passion was just a sort of seed through which a future relationship would blossom. Ultimately, there would be the very beginning of a process likely to be altered along the way, much as people's lives.

Jonatas Dornelles
Anthropologist






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